It was 4:30 a.m. Thursday September 8th, 2016 when my alarm went off. I barely slept that night. And again, just how I “planned” to get a good night’s rest- that didn’t happen. How could I? I was SO anxious and excited to meet our sweet girl in a few short hours! Since I had a planned cesarean I was able to get ready and do my hair. Yes, I did my hair and make-up. I was prepared to not wash my hair since I wasn’t sure how I would physically feel about showering and I didn’t plan on doing my hair at the hospital. I took a nice relaxing shower that morning and took my time getting ready. I still couldn’t believe what had happened the night before with the termites. Haha. Brandon took one last picture of me with my belly and we headed out the door.
We walked into the hospital and I immediately started shaking. I was SO nervous. Most people who have surgery go in to fix something because they are usually in pain. Me, I was walking in perfectly fine with my sweet girl nice and content in my belly. Plus, I’ve never done this before so I had no clue what to expect. I asked all the questions I could before this day to help prepare me but until you actually go through it, you won’t fully feel prepared.
Since we had an early surgery it was nice because most of the rooms were free and we lucked out with one that had a view. It was so pretty- you could see the bay and mountains in the distance. We got settled in our rooms when the nurses came in and started getting me ready. They told us Brandon would not be allowed into the OR until my doctor was ready for him. We kissed each other goodbye and the nurses wheeled me in.
At this point, I was shaking pretty bad. Going into an OR room completely conscious was so eerie to me. I remember them putting me on the table sitting up holding on to the nurse while they ejected the epidural into my spine. A couple of my friends talked about how important it was for them to get it right the first time so they didn’t have to try it twice. Luckily it went well the first time! I remember holding onto the nurse’s arms and literally saying over and over again, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” The nurse had to tell me to breath and calm down because my nerves were going crazy! They laid me on the table with my arms stretched out to the side and the epidural immediately kicked in. I started feeling tingly all over and then my legs went numb. Oh my did I absolutely hate that feeling. Having my arms stretched out and no control over my legs really made me uncomfortable. Plus, the curtain they put up is so close to your face that you feel there’s no room to breathe. At least that’s how I felt. Brandon still wasn’t in the OR with me yet. My doctor had already come in and began working on me. Finally, I see Brandon walk through the doors and come sit next to my head. I don’t remember what he said or what we talked about. All I know is it took every ounce of strength to stay awake. Then, our doctor said “Brandon do you want to see?” I thought there was NO way he would want to look over the curtain only because he had expressed so many times how terrified he would be. But I think when you’re in the moment and its happening, of course you want to see your child come out! And there she was! Our doctor held her over the curtain so I could see her and oh my gosh was it a miracle. It felt so surreal and something I can’t describe. The nurses immediately took Reagan and started working on her. Making sure her lungs were good, wiping her off- and Brandon was right there snapping as many pictures as he could. Then the moment came where I got to hold my baby. They laid Reagan right on my chest and I just remember staring at her in awe- 6lbs, 6oz, 19inches at 8:31 a.m. And at the same time I was really out of it so I had the hardest time keeping my eyes open but all I wanted to do was stare at her beautiful face and take this moment in!
Reagan had to go to the NICU since she was born 3 weeks early and so little. Brandon went with her and I went to the recovery room. When they told me I would be there for 2 hours I thought wow that’s possible? Doesn’t my babe need to eat? I was in and out of sleep for about an hour and then walked in Brandon and sweet Reagan. All I wanted to do was hold her and not let this moment pass by. Shortly after we were all transported back to our room and I was feeling much better. It’s amazing how my adrenaline kicked in and I was ready to start doing whatever I needed for her. And the same goes for Brandon. Even though he didn’t just have a baby he was such a rock star and took care of Reagan and I in every way possible. I can’t express how sweet it was to see your husband’s soul light up when he holds his new baby! He changed all her diapers since it was harder for me to get in and out of my bed. I think I changed maybe a handful? That was fine because I was doing all the feedings anyway!
With us living in California our family wasn’t nearby to come to the hospital and meet Reagan. But since I had a planned surgery, we were able to book my mom’s flight ahead of time and come out two days after. It was such a sweet moment having her there and seeing her hold her grandchild for the first time. We made sure to facetime other family members while we were in the hospital and send lots of pictures. It was the best we could do being so far away. But friends and co-workers of Brandon’s work came by and visited us quite a few times.
I think besides one other person that I’ve spoken to agreed that leaving the hospital was very sad. I can’t say it enough and my husband can speak for me that I 100 percent thoroughly enjoyed being at the hospital. Maybe part of it was getting taken care of but I think it was mostly just being able to enjoy those times with Brandon and Reagan. I knew once we got home my mind would be all over the place with the stuff to do at the house. BUT with my mom and husband, I was in good hands because they continued to take care of so much since I was limited. Brandon and I are so thankful for our sweet little girl and thank God every day for blessing us to be her parents.